Surely it is difficult to remain humble.
In today's modern stress, people are getting angry at the flicker of a second. To remain patient, tolerant and humble it is difficult.
There are too many unhealed wounded people, moving with their live wounds. They are here to achieve their desires, goals and aspirations. They need to see the world of kind, compassionate and humble people who can offer an ointment of love and acceptance on their wounds so that they are loving and accepting.
Knowingly or unknowingly, we all wear any of the three mask at one point of time, that is ego, pride and righteousness.
Let us understand this with an example of a dusted rug.
When someone beats a rug to remove dust, the blow is on the rug, but actually the blow is against the dust on the rug.
Similarly when the master beats us and gives us the problems, adversities, the challenges, the blow is not against us, but it is against the Ego, pride and righteousness.
Righteousness comes with too harsh judgement and judgement is contagious. What happens when people are been judged, they pass on the judgements to others too without their notice and become judgemental too.
This judgement starts when a child is been conditioned by parents and teachers.. they teach the child what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad. The young immatured child needs guidance from elders and it is appropriate to get this understanding. But adults have the faulty conditioning too.. and they may not be able to teach this to children in appropriate way...
When the child becomes adult, with his experiences he uses the knowledge been taught in young age. What happens is in the world of dualities, we emphasize on the extreme ends of polarities of only good and bad, without realising the inbetween stage which it goes from bad to good or good to bad. And then we realise only the extreme points that is good and bad. We become judgemental.
People with healthy self esteem may not have issues of pride as they do not boast or do bragging. I think in schools one must teach how to have healthy self esteem a and how to deal with emotions which is intricate part to learn the tricks of happy life
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Vanity and pride are what most of us tend to think of when we think of ego, but ego is much more than an overinflated sense of self. Ego is what you think about your self created image.
For eg. Some surgeon doctors carry ego, they are the best surgeons. Some computer expert carries the ego, I can retrieve the data.
It can also turn up in feelings of superiority because inflated ego likes to boast what they are good at. Egos job is to create illusionary image that gives you a sense of identity—and that identity derives from the things you tell yourself and the things other people have been saying about you, it comes from your success, your accomplishments, your feelings of you are one up than others, and you’ve decided to accept that as truth.
l The ego likes to seaparate you from others and this sense of separation is an intrinsic part of the ego. The ego loves to strengthen itself by complaining—either in thoughts or words—about other people, the situation you find yourself in, something that is happening right now but “shouldn’t be,” and even about yourself.
For example, when you’re in a long line at the supermarket, your mind might start complaining how slow the counters are taking, how they should be doing to speed up, how they are failing to do more effectively,what they could be doing correctly so that the payments are easier and faster..
Sometimes this thoughts leads to harsh criticizing words to salesman, rude tones and irrational behaviour. Arguments happens
When this happens, the ego trip is taking grip. You don’t have thoughts; the thoughts have you—and if you want to be free, you have to understand that the voice in your head has created the ego trip. The irritation, frustration, anger, upsetness is rising from the ego and previous experiences which were not managed with full awareness of balancing attitude and compassionate approach.
You might want to be “perfect” in very way and even believe that you are so, but you need to be humble for respectable relationships in your life. It is of core importance to be modest so that you can be a better friend and life partner. If you lack this quality, it will bring disharmony and fights in close relationship.
All three mask, ego, pride and righteousness creates the stories around it which does not have any truth. It is full of lies and heavy energies. This creates lots of disharmony, challenges, pseudo victory, rudeness, arrogance and harshness.
Being humble is the complete opposite of being egoistic, prideful and righteous! In order for you to be humble you have to let go of the three mask, and look at all sides of the situation from an aware acceptance and neutral observers point of view and having a fresh perspective. Being open-minded and mindful, is a great way to start becoming humble
Only in this way can you be present to the truer world around you and see the brilliance in you and others
How to be humble?
Here are ways you can train yourself to have more humility in your soul.
1. Admit that you are not the only one who is good
Yes, we all are talented. But it should not give you pride, keep in mind there is always going to be someone who is better than you, in doing what you are best at. It is possible you are unique in many a ways but it doesn’t mean you are “best” in the whole world. Even if you are, supposedly and completely “hypothetically” the best person, yet there are few other tasks you may not be able to do individually and some one else may be good at that. You have your limitations and you must acknowledge it, to recognise you are not the only one.
2. Be least judgemental
There are times when we judge other people for the flaws they have, but what good are we getting out of it? Rather, we should introspect and find out what’s wrong with us. You are not perfect and no one is perfect. Accept people with their flaws and be compassionate. We need to remember this point especially when we see others faults and judging others.
Being judgmental would only cause trouble in relationships and we forget we need to improve ourselves as well. One must consider how they can bring change in themselves instead of pinpointing a fault, cribbing and complaining to what others are not doing right.
3. Be grateful
You might have scored a top position in your university or won medals and trophies for the best performance, but do not forget the people who have supported you on this journey.
You could not have achieved your goal all by yourself. Its the support of parents, teachers and friends who helped you achieve your position.
No doubt, it could be more of your hard work, determination and more which has resulted in your success.
You should be grateful towards yourself and others, that it’s the choices you made that you are standing here today, and you are not only you, you have become this as so many people's efforts have gone in.
4. Use beautiful word 'sorry'
Often egoistic people do not admit their mistakes. There is nothing wrong to say sorry to people. Admit your mistake and say sorry to people appropriately. There is a way to say sorry. Some people don't mean it and they just use the word sorry to patch up the relationship gap.
Admitting mistake is realising your mistake genuinely and then saying it loudly, preferably looking into the persons eyes and then meaning each word that comes from your heart.
Apologizing for your mistakes won’t make you a less of a person. People might be angry or frustrated over things that you did, but it is better to admit your mistake than to cover it up with a lie.
People appreciate if you are willing to admit that you need to improve. It shows how open you are to improve.
People give you more respect, and instead, have more of them when you are humble and flexible.
5. Avoid bragging
When you keep on rambling about your achievements, even lie about them, people will sense your bragging and will. Not give you respect and listening ear on long run.
If you are doing something great, people are already noticing it and if you are humble about it, they would talk high for you. The truth never hides. You don’t need to spread the boasting words to impress people that you are above them.
6. Be calm, considerate and compassionate
If you have to remove the mask of ego, pride and righteousness, you need to be more calm, considerate and compassionate.
You may express your views by remaining calm.you don't pull others points of view by not being considerate
Many a times, we all might have seen how people start pulling each other down or even abusing each other if someone doesn’t agree with their theory or your points of views!
Everyone has their own thinking process and their own likes and dislikes. Be considerate,calm and compassionate enough to deliver your points and not interrupt when someone else gives their point of view and let them finish before you speak up.
7. Be appreciative and ack owledging people
It might be the easiest way to gain a sense of humility by a way of appreciation. If you see someone doing better than you, or someone being good at something, say it genuinely and with grace . Each one of us carries beautiful gifts, talents, skills and we need to value them.
If possible, learn something good from everyone who you meet in your life. Be open and willing to give compliments, praise and more.
Do this Chants and check the shift in you
My ego is my soul's love
My righteousness is my soul's love
My pride is my soul's love
My need to remain humble is my soul's love
My need to be kind to everyone is my soul's love
My need to be compassionate to everyone is my soul's love
My need to be genuine is my soul's love
My need to appreciate others is my soul's love
My need to be my authentic self is my soul's love
In humbleness,
With much love and gratitude for reading this
Roop Lakhani
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