How difficult is to remain happy

By Roop Lakhani - 21:24:00

Most of us believe that we need to pursue happiness. Happiness is birthright. Happiness uplifts our energy and confidence. And still Happiness is like abutterfly, the more we chase it, it flies. What to do? Here are few tips to how we sabotage our happiness

We associate happiness with material possessions, perfect relationships, abundant money, name and fame, power and position, success and growth, a dream house, dream ca, fancy vacations and more.We look for it externally, and hold on tight to it. Then, when things go wrong, happiness flies away like butterfly. Looking for happiness outside ourselves almost always ends up in disappointment because everything external is fragile. What’s outside is nothing but a momentary stimulator to pleasurable feelings.

However, those feelings don’t define happiness, because what makes us happy today has the ability to make us sad tomorrow.

May be the covid 19 has asked us to sit at home and find joy in small small things, spending quality time with family, catching up with friends on video call, working from home, helping spouse and children for house chores, get out from tough competitions and cat race, value money and spend wisely. Some people have become creative, some have started new hobbies, some have started doing exercise at home, some have started new ways of making money.

Happiness is the inner state and it is dependent on our way of thinking and mindset. Happiness is a personal choice and we need to choose it.

 The time we focus on simple living with modern thinking, we can sneak peek happiness inside us. But our desires, goals and ambitions keep us away from happiness.
We think after achieving x, we can be happy and the list becomes endless to achieve another x and y.

Here are six things we do to sabotage our happiness alongwith tips to keep yourself happy.

1. Waiting for something from out to happen so that we are happy.

When we wait for a romantic date, a fulfilling job, spacious house, dream car, caring friendship, an abroad trip, or fat bank balance, if that happens then we will be happy. It is a good thought. But itvis equally important to know that is not ultimate happiness definition.
Waiting for something happy to happen is unhappiness in itself.

Expecting endlessly for that to happen creates frustrations. Being a wishful thinker and a day dreamer makes it worse. The world is a challenging place but there are lots of blessings, miracles, and abundance.
Pain, frustrations and bumpy ride is possible same way as cheers, thrill and adventure.
To be happy means to accept that there will be a few bumps along the way, and to anticipate them.

Something or the other will keep happening, that does not mean, if they do not happen, you will be unhappy.
Don't wait. Live in the present moment NOW.tgis moment will never come back. Whatever this moment brings whether fears or cheers, just embrace it without loosing your cool.

2. Worrying too much
When we worry too much for our future, finances, children's growth, children's future, parents, old age and more, it is useless energy.

Worrying destroys positive productive energy and leads us to series of negative and unnecessary thoughts. 
We all worry sometimes, but let it shake off same day rather than creating health issues, heart problems,stomach disorders, muscle issues, panicking anxieties, and unidentifiable health challenges.

Best way is to deep breathe every one hour giving attention to your mind and giving self command, relax, chill

3. Carrying past emotional baggage
Often we carry lots of hurts, troublesome unpleasant items such as grief, guilt, anger, bitterness, doubt, heartbreak, defeat and misery and all this than can cause unhealthy behavior and ill health.

The mind is meant to be free. The struggle times gets over, bit the mind retains its prints. You live your sorrow over and over, keep them hidden inside you, relive the memory again though it struck only once, isn't it true? I know that letting go is easier said than done but here is, why are you choosing to be feeling heavy. Here’s how to leave your heavy baggage at the door…

The first step is to recognize that you are carrying heavy baggage and you have to uncarry.  Being true to yourself and choosing to be self responsible to remain light, whatever is the issue is an art of keeping you happy

Second step is to learn your lesson and forgive yourself. Regretting whatever happened is not going to take you anywhere as it is impossible to change the past. Lessons are always positive of the nature. Take the positive and discard the negative. Let past not dictate you and let future not be same as past

Third step is to forgive yourself. Let go of all the hurt and fear that pulls you down. It is a difficult task as you no longer need the same past experiences. Forgiving yourself by simple hoopponopo prayer really helps.

Fourth step is maintaining your distance from toxicity and keep contacts with positivity or spirituality. Look for people who are blissful, listen to music, read nice information that can uplift your mind, divert your mind to keep you busy with what you like to enjoy.

While there is no perfect world, life is imperfect when not lived. Take life forward, put your best foot forward, and be progressive

4. Blaming or complaining the world for something or the other
No one is perfect. Each one of us do according to what they understand in that point of time in that situations. Each one of us makes mistakes. 

When you are unhappy or dissatisfied with someone or something, your feelings of negativity lead you to complaining. Obviously, if you are complaining that something doesn't work as well as it should or someone did not fulfill an obligation, then blaming can also be applied. It only increases negativity.
It is like when you buy a new car and drive Honda, you see more of honda on the road.

 If all you have is complaining and blaming, then everything looks like a problem and we need to find fault. They both narrows your focus and keeps you fixated on problems.
When you complain and blame others, actually you are complaining and blaming yourself.
It can be that you are not been appreciated by others for who you are and may be that keeps you unhappy. Let people know what they did good. Each one requires some pepping of appreciation that keeps us going forward more happily. 
Appreciate your own self too when you do something nice. It is good habit. It is good to be proud of your good actions and qualities or attributes. When your world is filled with happy feelings, you can appreciate others too.
Pay the appreciation forward. It is good to continue paying the appreciation and passing on to others.
Whether it's a meal or gift, or small contribution of work, be thankful. Do something to signify your thankfulness. When we are grateful, we are allowing ourself to be happier, more contented and more satisfied with everything that has been going on around us. With all the stress, all the disappointments and all the anxiety around you, ask this question to yourself

“How exactly can I be more grateful with my life and people who support me and all that nonliving things that make my life comfortable? How can I be grateful?”

5. Not upgrading the mind
We often upgrade our mobile phones, delete the unnecessary folders but we often not upgrade our mind. Being mindful is an art to remain happy. Being mindful while walking, eating, working and sleeping creates greater awareness.

Mindfulness is paying attention to mind with much aware acceptance on a purpose, to stay in the present moment, and benon-judgmental to what ever you are observing or feeling. Brain and mind are constant wanderers and we need to manage with our mindful practice.

Being mindful at thought level allows a person to not create any more unnecessary or negative thoughts. Being mindful at emotional level allows a person to be more mindful to retain positive emotions and discard negative so as to remain resilient and balanced.
Upgrading mind is like upgrading computer.
There are so many folders and files which needs shift + delete buttons to permanently get deleted
Our subconscious mind is storehouse of emotions and memories. We need to do lots of shift+ delete so as to keep ourselves happy.

And still after this, you are not successful in keeping your self happy, it would be good to contact expert healer or therapist or counsellor to have the advise and change your perspectives about happiness rather than live life of unhappiness.
If this article resonates and makes you feel light, it is not an accident that you are reading this. Surely there is apurpose in reading this. 

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