When You Say “I’m Fine” But You’re Not

How many times have you said “I’m fine” when your heart was quietly breaking inside?
How often have you smiled when you really wanted to cry, or stayed quiet when something inside you wanted to scream, “This is not okay!”

That’s not politeness. That’s not strength.
That’s a trauma response — specifically, a fawning pattern.

Fawning is when we disconnect from our own feelings to maintain peace, avoid conflict, or keep others comfortable. It’s when we trade our truth for acceptance. Somewhere in childhood, you may have learned that expressing your emotions led to rejection, criticism, or punishment. Maybe your sadness was called drama, your anger was labeled disrespect, or your needs were brushed aside as “too much.”

So you adapted.
You learned that being quiet, agreeable, and “fine” kept you safe.
But as you grew up, that same survival mechanism began to cost you — your authenticity, your voice, your inner peace.

When you constantly suppress what you feel, you abandon yourself a little more each time. You start living disconnected from your body, your truth, and your needs. You may please everyone but end up feeling unseen, unheard, and emotionally exhausted.

Healing begins the moment you choose honesty over habit.
When you pause and gently admit, “No, I’m not fine — and that’s okay.”
When you stop apologizing for having feelings and start honoring them instead.

Every emotion you’ve silenced holds a story — not of weakness, but of wisdom.
Your feelings are sacred messengers, guiding you toward your truth.

So next time someone asks how you are, take a breath before saying “I’m fine.”
Ask yourself — What do I really feel right now? What do I need?
That small act of honesty is how you begin to respect yourself again.

Reflection Questions

• When did I first learn to hide my true emotions?
• In what situations do I still silence my truth to avoid discomfort?
• How can I start expressing myself more authentically — even in small ways?

Affirmation
It’s safe for me to feel. It’s safe for me to speak. My truth deserves to be heard.

To your authentic self

Roop Lakhani 

www.rooplakhani.com

www.rooplakhani.co.in