Are you aware of wounded inner child?

By Roop Lakhani - 18:41:00

Does everyone has wounded inner child??!! 

Everyone has wounded inner child to varying degrees and intensities. They could be suppressed and lying deep down in subconscious mind. It may need some attention when there would be health or wealth challenges, relationship challenges or self esteem issues. Till then we do not get aware of the wounds. Our wounded inner child does not disappear once we become adults. On the contrary, it stays within us, reminding us of all the wounds we haven’t healed yet. It keeps attracting all the people and situations that will be recurring and repeating, asking you to address the emotional wounds.

Does the inner child wound go away?

When you give yourself permission to hear the child or emotional wound within you, magic happens. You not only become aware of your strengths and weaknesses — you gradually understand where they come from. This can be extremely healing, although it is a long, arduous path to self discover with full awareness and acceptance.

How to begin healing? 

First step to begin healing is awareness and second step is acceptance. You first have to acknowledge your inner child’s presence — including the uncomfortable parts of yourself that inevitably come up to the surface. Then you need to lovingly embrace and accept the way it has created. Then you can work on it by giving permission to recognise and reorient to heal yourself.

What is inner child? 

As children, we have many desires and needs. We can’t meet our own needs. Our parents fulfill many needs as per their capacity and ability. Often some needs and desires are always unfulfilled.  When we experience unpleasant circumstances, trauma, abuse, harsh judgements, criticism, cynicism, nagging, gaslighting, narcistic behaviour of others, no matter how small it is, we don’t always have the emotional tools to process it, deal with it or ignore it fully.  Inevitably, we end up carrying emotional, psychological wounds from those undealth, underlying emotions in our subconscious mind and that can affect our relationships, health, wealth and career when we grow as adult.  

How do you know you have inner child?? Few points are as follows:

1. You have fear abandonment, you’re constantly afraid of people in your life will leave you, and it can be almost impossible to maintain healthy relationships.

2. You have fear to speak up for yourself, you start feeling guilty, you cannot express yourself freely and safely.  You have hard time saying no to people when you want to say no. When you feel overwhelmed, you cannot express well. Your boundaries are too weak or too rigid.
As a child, your space, identity, and self-expression were not respected.

3. You’re ashamed of expressing emotions like sadness or anger. You feel it is not good to speak up for your emotions. As a child, when emotionally or physically abandoned, abused, or neglected, you often take on the shame that belongs to the adult who left or hurt them by assuming that it’s because they themselves are the “bad” one. Shame creates feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, or regret.

You may have a hard time handling strong emotions from others and yourself and feel ashamed or guilty when you feel angry or sad. 

 Additionally, you may have difficulty controlling anger, easily cry, try to avoid conflict, or “shut down” during an argument.  You have a tendency toward passive-aggressive or overly aggressive behavior.

You may have strong moodiness or irrational behaviour or could be very sensitive to certain comments or remarks. 

4. You distrust everyone, including yourself. When, as a child, you were neglected, invalidated, gaslighted, or emotionally abused, it’s difficult to build your self-esteem and self-confidence. You develop trust issues and it becomes your coping defense mechanism. There would be self doubts for your own abilities as well as you start doubting others. You can have poor self esteem.

5. You’re afraid of disappointing and frustrating other people because you unconsciously associate your worth with external validation. You become people-pleaser and you avoid conflict at all costs. The root of people-pleasing behavior is usually created in childhood that forced you to silence your needs, thoughts, and emotions, to the point where you weaken your sense of self. 

6. Addiction is often a symptom of underlying trauma that hasn’t been processed. Rather than confronting the deeper wounds or emotional issues and letting ourselves feel pain, we numb our emotions to avoid feeling at all costs, which gradullay goes to addictions.

You easily attach yourself to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, cigarettes, or any other extreme obsessive tendencies.  It is essential that you receive that rush of “feel good” hormones, and have emotional eating disorders, unhealthy body image and obesity issues.

7. You often have insecurity about money. You cannot deal with financial challenges. You loose temper on people when you have financial challenges or difficulties. For you having financial abundance with proper bank savings, cash at home and in bank gives you security. 

8. You may find yourself adjusting, changing around other people that you don’t even know who you are and what you truly seek. You show poor confidence and surrendering attitude as if 'mis or mr nice'

9. You feel you must always be the “best” and “successful” person. Failure is not an option and not something you respond well to. You may feel driven to overachieve and strive for perfection. You are extremely competitive even at the cost of anything by hook ir by crook.

10. You have extreme fear or anxiety when you have to deal with strangers or new people or even be around people for some gatherings or dinner.  This can show itself in varying degreesand you start avoiding social meetings, become introvert or homebody.

You may get panic anxiety attacks or feel a need to stay on a consistent routine and schedule. You dislike changes.  You have a hard time adjusting to unexpected or unplanned new events. You prefer to be in your comfort zone to such an extreme that it is detrimental to learning new things or going different places.

11. You may become rebellious or passive aggressive. You may associate rebellion with growth and you may feel energized and “yourself” during rebellious behaviours as if you are in your own power.  You may go out of your way to antagonize or harass people to start an argument or fight. You may even develop egoistic, righteous or prideful behaviour that allows you to be in control. You may react in seconds to others when you feel your are been threatened or not allowed to keep  up your true powers.

Final thoughts

Last but not the least, as you can see, a wide variety of symptoms can point to the unresolved wounded issues for your inner child that may affect you every day.  You may not be even aware of your symptoms or you have just accepted after reading this or tried ignoring many of these behaviors in yourself.  

What is needed first, is to recognise them and also acknowledge the pain that caused them.
Once you acknowledge that inner child exists within you, is good enough for you to go to next step. 

Facing the pain and fears of your inner child is the second step to helping your inner child. You will need to face what happened to cause the pain.  It may be multiple things or just one.

After looking within to your memories of the incident, you may experience emotions like anger, sadness, remorse, and loneliness.  It is essential that you feel each and every emotion, embrace the way it comes, accept it and then allow yourself to become neutral observer to let go.  

Third step is, you may find that you need to go to therapist to help you do all these process gracefully and handle it in much better way.  Once you have worked through all of the feelings, however, you are on the path to showing your inner child the love and support that you needed in the past.  the emotional wounds can only be healed with the love and acceptance ointment.

It is difficult to let go fully the negative emotions in one go. Sometimes it needs to be replaced with positive affirmations. Itt is even advised to recite for few days so that it is becoming new pattern and also to reassure how valuable you are in your own eyes.

The way the present is based on our past, and future is based on our present, similarly iur inner child is alos the foundation on which we have built everything about ourselves, to who we are in the present.  If the foundation is weak, then it needs to be rebuilt. 

 Putting a bandage over it is like temporary fix, means it simply hides the fact that the inner child exists under the irrational adult. Once your inner child have the voice and the right to acknowledge  the hurts,  it can kiss and hug that wounded self  and make yourself feel whole and complete again. Not only you surely succeed having healthy relationship with yourself, but you also create better healthy relations with others, have sound healthy self esteem, good health,  unlimited abundance.

After reading the above article, if you have resonated and you feel you have the emotional wounded inner child,and you think you require an expert's such as counsellor, healer and coach to take you through the process in easy manner, do contact me on 9821612031 and I would surely take you through the process like being a catalyst to accelerate your momentum of joyous life.

Caring for your meaningful life,
Regards Roop Lakhani

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